Beowulf vs. Godsylla
(By Tom Weller, from Cvltvre Made Stvpid)
Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,.....monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,.....hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr,.....son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork.....to steop outsyd.
Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom!.....Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak,.....byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla.....wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ.....eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome.....fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus.....sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang.....ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht.....ðe grimlic foe.
"Me," Godsylla sæd,....."mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold.....wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe.....bac to fen
Beowulf belly up.....to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten.....mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla......yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.
Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle,.....monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce,.....hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr,.....son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork.....to steop outsyd.
Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom!.....Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak,.....byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla.....wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ.....eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome.....fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus.....sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang.....ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht.....ðe grimlic foe.
"Me," Godsylla sæd,....."mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold.....wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe.....bac to fen
Beowulf belly up.....to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten.....mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla......yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.
posted by Alice at 4:44 PM
5 Comments:
This is too cool. It reminds me of the fake German I sometimes slip into when I get a little too excitable.
I admit that I am easily amused by language, but I think this is simply awesome.
Thanks, Brent :)
If you have a blog let me know and I'll link to you.
This poem first came to my attention in an English History class I took for my MA degree. I loved it then, and it continues to give me a 'happy' every time I read it.
I am over at www.ominouscomma.com and this is the sort of thing I try to do.
Thanks again.
I moseyed over to read this, finally. Brilliant! See? I could've studied stuff like this but nooooo. I had to study "Lighting and Aesthetics" and "Scorsese."
Yeah, I'm the weirdo who read Beowulf and Grendel on my own as a teenager...not like I learned anything but you know, one tries.
You might want to check out some Middle English satire--"A Yonge Philologiste's First Drynkynge Poime": http://specgram.com/CL.1/03.poetrycorner.html
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